Receiving a death notification is difficult and upsetting. When it is due to a murder it can shatter your ability to cope or even think.

First - call someone to come to you, someone who can offer emotional and practical support. It may be a family member, a close friend, neighbor, co-worker, an elder or religious community member. You will need immediate help and will benefit from someone with you. This person can help by writing things down for you, answering the phone, the door, help with any children, other family members, food prep etc.

Begin to notify those who need to be told. There is nothing wrong with asking for help with this if you need to contact several people. If someone who needs to be told has health concerns, consider having it in person and if possible someone present to support them after you have told them.

Where possible avoid using social media until family and friends are notified. Remember information placed on social media will be picked up shared and media outlets will use it as well. Some families do have (or create) closed social media groups which can be helpful as a communication tool. There is more information about media in the section titled media.

This person can sit with you in silence, help you make necessary calls, or simply be a steady presence while you process the shock. They don't need to have the right words - just being there matters.

If someone can't come to you immediately, stay on the phone with them. Let them know what happened and that you need support. Ask them to help you think through your next steps or to stay connected while you contact other family members, friends, or professionals.

***In an urgent situation, never hesitate to call 911 for immediate police assistance.

If the accused is unidentified or out on bail, you may feel unsure about your safety.

Some families choose to stay elsewhere during the early days. If the accused is released from custody, a no contact order can be requested. As a rule no contact orders mean the accused can not contact those named in the order directly or indirectly. When someone is released on bail, a bail supervisor is assigned. You can ask to speak to the bail supervisor if you have concerns.

Discuss your concerns with the investigator and/or the crown prosecutor. They will help you determine if your safety is a risk and what appropriate steps for you to take.

Once the death notification has been made, police will ask you to name a family member as a key contact. They will provide you with the name and contact information for the investigator who will initially be the family contact. As time unfolds, this person may change, if that happens, they will provide you with the new name and contact information.

Very quickly police will begin gathering information and evidence relating to the murder. To do this they will talk to people who may have been involved or who knew your loved one. While they are searching for the offender, they may also need to rule out involvement of other people. Ruling out suspects can include one or many family members. This is a normal part of the investigative process.

If you were a witness to the murder, Police will ask you for a statement about what happened. This is called a witness statement and includes what you saw or heard occur. This statement often is audio and / or video recorded in order to obtain the best possible evidence. If English is not your language of choice, advise the investigator so they can ensure you understand what is asked. They may use a translator if necessary.

Often in the early days of the investigation there is very limited information available to family. Limited information in those first few days is very common. This can be upsetting for families. We’d encourage you to remember that during those first few hours and days, police are working as hard as they can to investigate the crime. There is a lot happening simultaneously and it’s a very dynamic environment they are working it.

It is not uncommon for there to be 20 or more police officers involved with a single case in the early days. Silence or no clear information, does not mean they are not working hard at learning what happened to your loved one or that they have set it aside. It can be frustrating.

Investigators will keep you informed about the progress in the investigation and you may contact the investigator. It may be a good idea to write your questions down. Ask any questions you wish, do be aware that there will be some questions that they can not answer. They will tell you when they can not. They will not be commenting on anything that could:

• Slow down the investigation

• Risk or interfere with the investigation or prosecution

• Affect the safety or security or someone

Privacy legislation and confidentiality rules don’t allow for names or contact information for other victims or witnesses.