How I Cope

Written by Gloria Vallette

Mother of Darren

August 25th, 1998

You may wonder how I get myself through each day facing the tragic loss of

my youngest son, Darren. He was 28 years old. He called me not too long before his

tragic ending and said to me. "Mom, I am going to be 30 years old in a couple of

years and I must move ahead in my life. Time is going by quickly."

He was letting me know that he had already set in motion the paperwork to

establish his own company. As a matter of fact, he had everything done that needed

to be done to set up his business. He had even joined the Better Business Bureau

which I thought was not necessary until he established himself. By doing this it

showed that he was going to go about his profession in a legal and honest manner.

wished him good luck and said I was proud of him. Three days before he was about

to start his business his life ended. April 1998.

I had nine children, including my extended family. Now I have eight.

Everyday I think of how blessed I am to have these children, none of whom ever

gave my husband and me any serious trouble. They were taught, from a young age,

to respect others, young and old alike, and to respect other peoples' property.

As each one graduated from school, they were out in the work force,

providing for themselves and soon their own families. They became self-sufficient,

owing their own homes and providing for themselves at an early age. Their values

were instilled in them by example from their loving parents. They came from a

normal, happy, fun-loving home and today are that way themselves.

It is almost like a bad dream that Darren is no longer with us. It has affected

each one of us in many different ways. Some days we cope better than other days.

It is the blessing of a family, like I have, that helps me cope. Each day I thank the

Lord for such a wonderful, caring family.

The part that is sad is the fact that Darren did not have the opportunity to

get married and have children. He loved children. He sponsored a little boy

through World Vision, unbeknown to us until we cleared out his apartment and

found the paperwork. Darren's sister wrote these lines in a birthday card to me,

few years ago, as she wrote about our family:

I guess I didn't think our family was special...

I just thought it was normal....

On ending, I pray that every child should have a normal family. That's what

helps me cope…the fact that my children were happy growing up in a normal family

lifestyle. The memories Darren had for his 28 years were happy ones. On my bad

days I think of that and it helps me cope. I wonder what kind of a family the

perpetrator had.